There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize