unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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