you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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