I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize