so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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