You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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