So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
