So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
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I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
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Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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