I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize