It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
