I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
