My liver just broke up with me...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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