I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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