Well douche your snatch and let's go!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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