Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize