Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
