For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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