Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
