omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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