Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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