Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
