There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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