He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
