3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She said her name was "party"
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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