2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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