somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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