Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
