Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
