he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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