I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
