the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
