I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.