i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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