woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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