i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
