How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize