Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
