You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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