He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize