Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
