Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize