I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I showed him my bush... on skype.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
