Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm always down for nudity.
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