we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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