i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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