I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
sarcasm needs its own font
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize