I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize