If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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