SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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