Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
